The Zoo

There is a major heartbreak incident with one of my friend love very very very deeply. A girl who is honest, kind and chrismatic. Althoguht I totally dislike the guy involved who I actually once became friend with, I felt that it is partly my mistake, my fault for not saying a single word after the two went out togather.

The girl believed that if the others thought her as friend should have warned her. But who would when she is actually so blindly in love?

However in my case the reason was a opposite. I believed in her intelligence in looking at people, people reading. I tried to tell her the danger, the worst posibility, but she did not actually listen. It is afterall her own romance. It is not in my position to judge or make any comment. I honestly believe and try my best to live with this.

The only thing I can do now is how that this experience will do good on the girl and she will move on healthy psychologically.



My sister read a book which that particular girl gave to her. It saids "true loneliness is when you have words you want to say, you have no one to listen to; when you are surrounded by people, you have nothing you can say"

I strongly feel loneliness in my entire year of year 12. There is never anyone I can really talk to about things I am really worrying about. Not anyone who would be able to take my view. I am absolutely against hence relucant to making others to look at things in my way. I have tried that for a million times and it hurts every single time. It kills everytime. I no longer have the luxury that my friends who would allie with me no matter what I do around me anymore. I don't have the cards to play with. I am out of choice but staying alone.

My father, who taught me the generous perspective is not even supporting that anymore. He taught me to look at the good quality of every single person . All I want to do is to be a generally kind person. That's all. But the balance is always hard to get.

People drift away from me just because of my determination on everything: on my persuit of a decent career and building of connections ,since being in a migrant family cause us to lose most of our connections, my determination in urging my spritual growth and treat people equally.

Is it wrong to hold sympathy to people? I try my best not to make anything obvious, I try to make myself humble, inspite that I know I have never been a truely humble person. There always had been a great degree of arogance in my personality. It is painful to admit. I try my best to admit, face and balance it out. It is difficult. I am just a teenager, or you may say a very young adult. I am starting to question the posibility in changing my nature in the relatively short life I have lived through now.

While my life might have appeared to be easy (and to some extent it is), there are difficulties which I have not manage to face yet. I don't know how to support my living from next year. It seems very impossible to be living on part time job even that I can get loan from the government for my university tution fees. I am accepting that fact that I might need some support from my parents in my university life afterall, but I really want to keep it to a minimal, just to show my gratetute to unconditional love and support I have recieved from them. Everytime I thought of how much my parents love me it brought me to tears...

At least I am doing one thing now, trying my best in exams and polish my English for studying law. No, I haven't read enough good writing yet. Yes, Dad you are absolutely correct about this. I really hope my stubboness did not get in way to this. I promise I would try harder in every aspects, including keeping myself happy and healthy.

While happiness can be so simplistic, I hope my life from now on, my career from now on can be something I can rejoice at. Although this makes the pursuit of happiness a very difficult task, I want to try. I want it badly.

眼前人

雖然一直都聽到別人說要珍惜眼前人，但是我從來都沒有像現在這麽確實地感覺到。

我從來沒有發現，今天我擁有的價值觀，作爲港島民生書院的學生的自豪感都是因爲吳Sir才會有的。

然而，一個改變了這麽多人的老師，我們的恩師，就這樣突然離開我們了。

生命原來是如此脆弱的……

 

吳sir，我會一直記住你的教誨，並在我的生活中體現的。

 

今天我想要會議你說過的故事的時候，沒有一個故事的細節是我能想起的……

這讓我傷心不已，

但是，

你站在講臺上的情形卻歷歷在目。

 

我會更加努力的活下去的……

爲了你，我會的……

New CG work ^^

This is drawn by charcoal then applied colour with photoshop ^^
adjusted version

Song Sharing

There are a couple songs which I would like to recommend

 

 

The Climb –Miley Cyrus

Songwriters: Alexander, J; Mabe, J

Lyrics | The Climb lyrics

 

 

 

Was I The Only One  -Jordin Sparks

Lyrics | Was I The Only One lyrics

 

 

 

You Found Me –The FRAY

Songwriters: King, Joseph; Slade, Isaac

Lyrics | You Found Me lyrics

 

 

 

My Sunshine –ROCK ‘A’ TRENCH

歌手： ROCK'A'TRENCH
作詞： オータケハヤト・山森大輔＆jam
作曲： オータケハヤト

http://www.uta-net.com/user/phplib/Link.php?ID=74879

迷う

止步不前的我

所缺乏的不是地圖

也不是目的地

而是勇氣和動力

在我面前時一道高牆

我沒有攀登它的勇氣

我只是跌坐在它面前

連伸手觸碰它的勇氣也沒有

只是在為自己的無力而哭泣……

不過我也只能硬著頭皮

伸手開始攀登

爲了去到高牆的另一面

爲了那個近在只尺的目的地

這是我必須做的

Computer illustrations!!

This weekend, I have completed the largest amount of computer illustration in my personal record! lol

I am so excitied that I am sharing them with you^^












My friends in the boarding house prefers the ballerinas, which actually takes heaps less time...
I agree that they are more artistically appealing, but still... those comic illustration took me a lot, A LOT longer to learn to paint them... I do find their comment a bit discouraging...

愛自己

我很愛我自己的。我這樣告訴自己。可是，到底到了何年何月我才能學會愛自己的身體呢？說愛自己的我到底是不是其實除了身體之外，連自己的靈魂也不會愛？

昨天我把腳扭傷了。晚上，一直沒好的咳嗽（快兩個月了吧）狂暴地向我襲來…… 咳咳咳咳…… 結果一晚上沒有睡好，直至早上三點多才睡着。

今天一整天腦袋混混沌沌的，不能運轉，在本來擅長的物理課上聼不懂老師所說的内容。已經四年沒正式讀過的電學，基本概念都沒了，雖然我在中四的時候因爲提早離校錯過電學科了，但是既然不能改變，就只能往前看，努力把失去的追回來吧。

想做的事情多在做了，可是能做不等於就能順利吧。

再沒有人刺激我去創作，我到達了瓶頸，向表達的感念有很多，多得我不能整合，不會把它們呈現出來……

我該怎麽辦？

Indifference

Elie Wiesel:

The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference.
The opposite of art is not ugliness, it's indifference.
The opposite of faith is not heresy, it's indifference.
And the opposite of life is not death, it's indifference.

(Oct. 1986)

 

To learn to think like what the quote said must be a painful process.

However, I believe out of the pain, it is a happy life in return.

 

"Anyone who has not rowed in a really close boatrace cannot comprehend the level of pain." -- Dan Topolski from TRUE BLUE, The Oxford Boat Race Mutiny

 

And my rowing crew sure can after today’s race. We have won by only an inch or two. At the end they must have pulled it out of nothing. It is determination which bought us to victory and make us show sportsmanship. I reckon, sportsmanship is mainly about the determination of one to win in a competition and taking up all the responsibilities needed, not blaming anything.

If you aren’t part of the solution, you are part of the problem.

On the title is a quote quoted by my vice-principal on the news letter this week.

I wanted to tell that to a new friend I have just made, quite badly, in quite a bad way…

I won't say it though…

 

Anyway…

 

In these days, I am feeling that my unatoned guilt is creeping out, crawling on my back, holding me back.( I am probably exaggerating it here…)

I want to say sorry to everyone who receives this through email. I am sorry for not contacting, for not being able to visit Hong Kong often, for not having the courage to get a phone card and pick up the phone.

So, here I am writing this and now realize that I have got to move back on my work…

Catch you later…

Workaholic, am I?

I am apparently being in too many things at the moment. I am already feeling exhasuted.

Yesterday, I went to the ICCES Swimming Carnival(schools around Victoria compete) providing that I have came 2nd in the GSSSA Swimming Carnival for Backstroke. It was surprising that I can still win some races in Australia by losing a couple kgs and getting myself a bit fitter. However, I regrate choosing to spend a day in Melbourne just for swimming in 2 events. I find it really exhausting catching up the work and having a SRC meeting on the first day back.

The concequence of the decision, of which I am dealing with now, was to rush all my Japanese work of the week and an English essay in one night... Believe me, this is not what you want to do when you have an Physics SAC on the next day.

I am in need of someone for me to complain about everything and be childish and lost in front of them as I am really lost at the moment. I am living in day dreams and awake suddenly and realise that I getting late for something and rush for that. I am just dreaming, I don't feel like living at all...

A quote for life

去愛吧，就像不曾受過傷害一樣；
跳舞吧，就像誰都沒有看到一樣；
去愛吧，就像不曾受過傷害一樣；
唱歌吧，就像沒有人聽一樣；
工作吧，就像不需要錢一樣；
生活吧，就像今天是最後一天。

如果可以做到這樣是多麽幸福的事情啊！

可是又有多少人能真正做到呢？



今天在高速公路開車了，
好怕……

很多時候都反應不過來, 忘了看速度限制、打燈……

開車真的好難，

我可以趕及在上大學之前做好嗎？

Thinking of my future

最近我對自己想要讀什麽大學課程越來越迷茫

某程度上是我的父母刻意造成的

他們希望我考慮清楚

而常常質疑我的理想……


而我也開始猶豫了

特別是當我爸建議我去考慮念Fine Arts 的時候……

我開始懷疑自己是希望成爲一個藝術家還是一個建築師

如果我其實只是希望讓人看見自己的作品的話，藝術家會是一個更適合我的行業吧

有如果我是希望在城市規劃上有所影響的話，城市規劃不是更直接嗎？


希望明天當我在市中心拍照的時候

不要只拍到迷茫，而是拍到城市的活力

好不容易離開了沉重的枷鎖

要是掉進迷茫的深淵就不好了……

Summer Holiday

各位，
請不要因爲突然變成用中文寫而感到驚訝，
只是我突然想要這樣做而已……

在這個暑假，
我家裏一家四口加上我家裏的小狗一起去旅行了，
快樂的旅行，
陽光與海灘，
隨之而來的是曬傷帶來的疼痛……

在旅途上，我們去了海灘
海灘風和日麗，
風很涼，太陽很猛，
不知不覺的，我就曬得比以往都要傷了，
現在我的背還是紅的……
疼痛……