When you life went up in the air

When ever I come back here I am just not satisfied with the looks of this blog. However, behold everyone! I have finally came around and do a huge renovation for this place. After years of having this blog I have finally made something (or rather used something that Google made for me) that I am satisfied with.




Although I have always been told that being young is about getting lost and finding your own way, I have never been more lost in my life. I have never felt as overwhelmed before. (May be I did... but I just can't recall at this point.) It feels like that my whole life is going up in the air. I feel no grip on my life at all . Everything just keep happening all at once around me. This has lead me to reluctantly admit that I have over committed myself.



May be being an active officer in two clubs (both extremely serious in taking up student representation roles) at the same time, compete in a debating competition and train a debating team all at once is a little too much. Maybe starting a part-time part time job at the same time is suicidal. However, I believe it is nothing but the assignment deadline that brings me on edge. Then, I ask myself if I want a quiet life where I spend my time in the library claiming that I am studying but actually aimlessly liking facebook status of people who we barely talk to, where I put more effort in going to the gym and ask people out for perhaps coffee, or sit in front of a computer with multiple screens and become a complete Otaku? I try to convince myself that this is not the life that I want and I am perfectly happy.

But I am not. I am just an ordinary young woman who has dissatisfaction in her life. Sometimes I feel lonely and just start crying in my room out of nowhere. Sometimes get cranky and yell at me best friends who would just take any bad temper that I throw at them and give me a hug cause they knew that I am upset. Then I would feel that I am loved and start spreading love around me again. Then I can also tell people how wonderful my friends are and introduce my friends to them as well.

Maybe live is simple, only that we often over think.